I broke this week. I couldn’t help it. My willpower had run dry and I could fight it no more. I smoked. I’m not proud of it but the urge to gorge on nicotine was too much. I’m not sure if it was the choice of TV programmes giving me not so subtle hints or whether my strict January regime was too much to bear but something had to give.
With my uni work finally up to date for the foreseeable future my stress levels have diminished to a state of nonexistence. Rather than be productive with my time I have thus far been pretty indulgent watching mountains of sport either live or on the box. On top of this I have watched plenty of ‘The Leftovers’ which I am still unsure what to make of, and I have revisited ‘Mad Men’ which I am eagerly anticipating the return of in April.
Last night I managed to watch James Gandolfini’s final film ‘The Drop’. I have been wanting to see this film for what feels like an age and I actually enjoyed it more than I thought. The thing I am most shocked about is how much I loved Tom Hardy’s character in the film having never really been a fan of his work before.
Other than getting square eyes I have finished up the remainder of work due for uni and tried to find ways to socialise with people that don’t involve drinking! What is it with this country? Are we all so deeply entrenched in our alcoholism that we can’t enjoy ourselves without it?
I have been guilty in the last few weeks of taking both myself and life too seriously. It is easy in these situations for me to take myself down a dark path and let the world get on top of me. I feel better for shaking myself out of that mood but still feel like I need something to look forward to. Something just around the corner or at least in the not too distant future.
I suppose I would describe this stage of the year as tepid. You know there has to be a quiet time after all the exuberance of December but you just wish the year would kick on a bit and give you something to focus on or work towards. I am not complaining about my workload lessening I just wish I had a gameplan or a strategy for the quieter times in life. I suppose that’s what comes of being a 28 year old single man with no kids. I imagine lots of people would love to be in my situation so I won’t moan about it any more.
Wednesday of this week is going to post a bit of a challenge. The plan is to go to a local bar which plays host to a lot of local musicians and bands. Whilst I am looking forward to the occasion I can’t help but think my diet coke is going to be all the more difficult to force down with everyone else drinking around me. Nobody said this dry January lark was going to be easy I suppose and there is good reason for that. It’s not so much my drinking that I’m worried about it’s the people around me being drunk. I don’t care what anyone says, having been out as the only sober one a number of times and having worked in the hospitality trade for a few years, there is nothing worse than being the only sober guy in the room!
This will sound controversial but I am glad I have taken to enjoying the odd cigarette again. Mainly because I seemed to be replacing them with sandwiches. That is both unhealthy and at least as costly as smoking!
I have started to think about the future a lot lately and have been trying to make a plan with regards to work experience. It’s going to be damn important to get some valuable time working in some capacity as a journalist. Especially for plumping up the CV for when the fun and games of university is over. If there is anyone out there who knows of any work experience going feel free to pass that information on!
I suppose that’s it for this post. Not my finest work but then my life hasn’t been all that exciting this week! Not every chapter of the book of life can be a thriller. I’ll try and work on my boring ways!