Yesterday was an eight hour battle. The continuing theme of poor sleep definitely didn’t help matters but there was something more than that, something I couldn’t put my finger on all day. Monday consists of two lectures; Law and ethics and Reporting politics. Not necessarily the most interesting subjects in the world and it does mean being in uni from 9 – 5. I can hear all the full time workers screaming “lazy student” as they read this but it is a long time to keep your brain engaged for. For some reason or another my head was as muggy and cloudy as yesterday’s weather. I even found myself shaking as I put the key in the door as I arrived home. Whatever the problem was has since passed and was probably as a result of lack of water but whatever it was it had a profound effect on my day.
As for the lectures themselves I didn’t find them uninteresting even though the subject of both wasn’t all that entertaining. I hate awkward silences. Always have. There are times in lectures when the lecturer asks questions and I scan around the room to see if anyone is going to answer. Sometimes they put me out of my misery and do so but on many occasions I found myself piping up to answer just to break the moment of quiet that has descended upon the room. I’m not sure if it is my paranoia or if there is any truth to it but I can almost here people in the room willing me to wind my neck in and shut up. Problem with that is that I can’t. If there is a question to be answered and no-one else speaks up I can’t handle the silence.
I suppose a lot of my fears surrounding my time here stem from my age. I do worry about being the annoying old bloke in lectures but I am convinced at times I over think these things and make a big issue out of almost nothing. Speaking of issues PC world contacted me to tell me my laptop would be ready to pick up in 3-5 working days and that they would contact me to tell me the specific date. This should have been a welcome message but I can’t help but ask myself as I am sat at uni again, how long does it take to fix a screen? Two weeks seems a bit much to me but what do I know?
I decided yesterday evening that I would spend some of my free time reading. I used to read a lot when I was younger but find I really have to be in the mood nowadays. I chose to pick up Sir Alex Ferguson’s autobiography. Given that I am such a big United fan this is pretty late in the day to be starting the book but over the last five years I have found my love affair with the beautiful game lessoning. If you speak to anyone who is close to me or knows me half well they will tell you that football creates a spark in me. I am not overly competitive in other aspects of life but something about the worlds most popular team sport gets my juices going. I can talk at length, sometimes endlessly about the finer points of the game and have a habit of retaining useless stats and information relating to the sport. I can’t tell you specifically why the game no longer holds such a great presence in my life but I will say the money in the game, agents and diminishing physical contact are all factors that have weakened that love.
Sir Alex Ferguson has played an enormous role in my life without ever actually being physically in it. As I started to read last night a huge amount of boyhood nostalgia took over me and I could hear the Glaswegian’s voice as I read. No matter what your take on the man, the club or the sport there can be no denying he is a fascinating character with an incredible appetite for life. As I read about his dealings with many of my heroes there were times when my hair stood on end. He wrote at length about several figures and groups of players but the chapter that captured me the most was that of Ronaldo. You could actually hear the excitement in his voice when he spoke about the raw talent that he “had to bring to the club”. My memory was taken back to 2003 when a greasy teenager came off the bench against Bolton and absolutely tore them apart. Sir Alex’s memory of that debut game seemed to be a carbon copy of mine.
It was only when I received an email on my phone that I thought to look at the time. I had told myself that in order to get into good habits I was going to get up early every weekday and this in turn should increase productivity. It was 4 AM, I had no chance of an early start and as a result of getting up at half ten this morning I feel like half of me is still in bed. I am going home this weekend. Primarily because I have work but I also need to go and check in on dad who hasn’t been very well and with mum back in Cyprus I worry he’s not looking after himself properly. I am strangely looking forward to work. As I have said previously it’s not the most glamorous job in the world but there is something about the early starts at those forestry commission sites that is serenely peaceful and you almost feel as though you have the world to yourself for a brief time. Not sure that’s how I will feel come Sunday afternoon mind you but I’m sure I’ll let you know!